Riding Moab with “The Bad News Bears”

Riding Moab

Since he is newly retired (1 year) my sometime riding buddy ‘Recon’ got the idea he should rent a house and have a bunch of his buddies meet up and ride for a week. It was sold to us as a week of motorcycle riding, mountain biking, golfing and possibly some river rafting. It worked out pretty well with only the river rafting getting the axe because we simply ran out of time!

It was a great week and I had no idea I was meeting up with an older version of the “Bad News Bears!” The Characters in this real life movie were Recon, Todd, Rick, Tom and two new players I had never met, Duane and Craig. A brief description is Recon the hurry up and we can do two rides if you guys will just get ready guy.  Todd the slower paced more methodical and let’s think this out guy.  Rick the HADD (hyper attention deficit disorder) guy.  Tom the kid from the family with money that wants to polish his bikes before and after he rides them guy. Then two new acquaintances, Duane the only non-prison worker in the group that enjoyed recording the trip with pictures and was more techno savvy than the rest of us by using his computer to watch ride videos guy.  Craig the up for anything as long as you can keep him pointed in the right direction and self-appointed Chef/BBQ extraordinaire guy.
I had no idea of what to expect with these guys all together in a house for a week. As it turned out it was the most fun I have had in several of my moto trips! It was nonstop entertainment after the first day of settling in and they let the clowning begin.

We rode mountain bikes on Slick Rock trail and Porcupine Rim Trail. The riding and scenery was spectacular with breath taking views on both. Everyone had a great time and no one got hurt even with a couple of minor crashes!  Duane our resident photographer made the comment that the pictures would not do this place justice, it has to be seen. I think Porcupine Rim fell into the category of ‘Best Ride Ever!’
We rode motorcycles around the White Rim Trail in Canyonlands National Park which took us somewhere in the neighborhood of 7 hours. Along the way we stopped at sheer cliffs that dropped several hundred feet and you could ride right up to the edge. You could even sit on the edge and hang your feet over the side, well except for Tom. I think he had to stop and polish his bike whenever we started to get near the cliffs!  Everyone started rolling right along until Rick decided to slide himself and his KLR 650 in the dirt like he was sliding into home plate head first!  I looked in my mirror just in time to see an enormous cloud of dust! I stopped my bike and started back to where he was.  He was already up and brushing the dirt from the front of himself, so I figured he must be ok because he is dusting himself off. By then the other guys were rolling up and I started yelling for them to take pictures! The cameras came out and we couldn’t help but laughing because he looked like Pig Pen!  Rick was giggling at himself too.  A few minutes and we were on our way.  This ride ended up being about 160 miles and we were about half way so ol’ Ricky may have been getting a bit tired.  So maybe it was time for a rest/lunch stop. We took a break and had our snacks then were back on the trail. More excellent views and lots of miles.  
Then it happened again, but this time Rick didn’t slide, he tipped over on a short steep hill climb. A KLR 650 is not exactly a lightweight so down he goes in a heap. No harm, no foul and no injury. Until we get the bike up and discover he has broken his clutch perch. Oops, spare levers but no spare perch. So it became a patch job. Of course everyone’s first thought is Duct Tape!  I thought the same thing and then realized I fit right in with this group! Oh Hell, we are a bunch of okie/rednecks!  Then after reconsidering we came up with the Zip Tie fix!  So now we are just plain ol’ rednecks. But the duct tape was still in our back pocket if necessary.  7 Zip Ties later and we are back on the trail.
We enjoyed the rest of the ride and took in lots of amazing scenery with Duane doing the best he could to capture it on camera.

The rest of the week had us all thoroughly enjoying ourselves with each ride and each meal being dubbed as “the best ride/dinner ever!”  I asked Chef Craig once what was for dinner and he told me I had two choices, 1. Take it.  2. Or leave it!   I found out in a hurry that this wasn’t Burger King!
Maybe this can become an annual event, if so I am in!

#33

“Just because it is a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time!”

Lots of pictures in the photo gallery!

5 Miles of Hell!

Yes, there truly is a trail that has been given this name. It is outside of Green River, Utah.  I had heard of it from a couple of riders and figured since I was going to meet a few buddies in Moab, Utah I might as well swing by and check it out.
This area has some spectacular rock formations because of the upheaval in the earth’s crust over the past umpteen million years! It has also provided some very challenging terrain to test a dirt bike riders’ skills. One of those test area has been named “5 Miles of Hell” and marked with patches of white paint so a rider can follow without getting lost and riding off into an abyss.
 Another thing the paint does is make it very easy to find the established route while he or she is tired! Believe me when I tell you that you are going to get tired. It took me somewhere in the neighborhood of 3 hours to cover the difficult section which turned out to be closer to 7 miles!
Only one tip over when I failed to make a climb that resulted in a skinned up forearm, then a few wrenches were necessary to loosen the throttle assembly and bark buster so my throttle would turn freely.
While blazing along at a whopping 2.3 miles an hour I met a couple of riders on the trail that were from Colorado. Scott and John who were riding 250 & 300 2 stroke off road bikes, smart boys! Or should I say smart men! I stopped to chat with them and discovered they were 68 and 67 years old respectively. These guys became my heroes instantly! To be out tackling that trail at that age showed a lot of skill, determination and courage! I was apprehensive and I am a full ten years younger. I want to be like them in ten years!

After our chat we rode on and became a group of three which was fine by me cause now I had someone to call 911 for me! We soldiered on until we came to a wall I was told by my new riding partners was known as “The Crux”. Holy smokers, I was wondering how other riders go up this but thought if others can get up it so can we. So we parked our bikes and walked up for a closer look and to plot our intended route. There were several options but we settled on what appeared to be the safest but included turning our bikes around by hand at one point to have a better shot at making it. It worked perfectly with none of us crashing and breaking anything or injuring ourselves.
When we finally got to the top of the Crux we stopped and noticed a tree decorated with several remnants of others attempts at the Crux. There were broken brake and clutch levers, a radiator louver, a bent up radiator guard that obviously didn’t work well enough and a twisted and busted up radiator! Oh and a couple of left over radiator shrouds that had been ripped from the bikes. We may have been overly cautious but none of us was ordering parts.
Right after we conquered the Crux we came to a marker on the trail that was marked as a bail out point from 5 Miles of Hell leading back to Lone Man trail. A short break and discussion and it was decided that Scott and John would take the bail out as John was having a problem with cramps in his hands. So we said our good byes and I was off on my own again to see what the rest of the trail had to offer.
As it turned out more of the same without the “Crux”, but plenty of substitutes to keep me guessing as to whether or not I would survive this ordeal. It seemed every few hundred yards there would be some sort of stair step climb, a crevasse to scale or a decent into an area I just hoped I could get back up out of. I stopped once to take a picture and wondered how in the hell did someone figure out what path to take, then it dawned on me. Stupid, just looking at the surroundings and I realized it was usually the path of least resistance. That was sort of scary!
I finally got through the difficult stuff and found the end of the trail with a sign designating it as “5 MOH”. I was so proud of myself I signed in the book, as #33 of course, and then took Lone Man trail back to the truck. Funny how those 2-foot-deep whoops on the return trail didn’t seem very difficult!

If you think you need to challenge yourself, give me a call.  I will tell you how to find 5-MOH!!!  You didn’t really think I was going to offer to go with you did you!  

#33    

“Make your life a mission, not an intermission”